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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28236819">all along, there was some invisible string</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/taiyangbings/pseuds/taiyangbings'>taiyangbings</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>BLINK AND U MIGHT MISS IT BUT SOOGYU IS THERE, Canon Compliant, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Slow Burn, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Tyunning centric, but there is a Lot of exploring TXTs group dynamic, chronological but split into several different scenes with timeskips inbetween, i think maybe i guess or it might just be Kang Taehyun Doesn't Understand What His Feelings Are, predebut txt !!!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 17:07:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,775</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28236819</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/taiyangbings/pseuds/taiyangbings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Someone new had joined the company while Taehyun had been in America training with Yeonjun hyung and the others.</p><p>This is the story of how they fell in love.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Choi Beomgyu &amp; Choi Soobin &amp; Choi Yeonjun &amp; Huening Kai &amp; Kang Taehyun, Choi Beomgyu/Choi Soobin, Huening Kai/Kang Taehyun, Minor or Background Relationship(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>129</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>TXT Secret Santa Fic Fest 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>all along, there was some invisible string</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/liminalism/gifts">liminalism</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>and isn't it just so pretty to think<br/>all along there was some invisible string<br/>tying you to me?<br/>- taylor swift (invisible string)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Someone new had joined the company while he’d been in America training with Yeonjun hyung and the others.</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun was quite aware that he’d been staring, but he was insanely curious. It was the first time he hadn’t been around to witness a new trainee’s first day at the company ever since he’d joined BigHit. The new boy was small - shorter than him, he had a feeling, though he had yet to speak to him eye to eye so he hadn’t been able to tell for sure - had a lanky frame, short, straight hair that reached his eyebrows, and was wearing a baby blue t-shirt with a cartoon shark printed across it.</p><p> </p><p><em> “He looks like a baby,” </em> Taehyun thought. He wondered how old he was. Younger than him, maybe? He wanted to know.</p><p> </p><p>“Taehyun-ah,” Yeonjun said as he nudged him with his elbow, voice laced with warmth and amusement, “If you keep on staring at the new boy instead of focusing on your food, the table’s gonna end up eating more of your bibimbap than you are.” Taehyun looked down at the bowl in front of him and noticed that several lumps of rice and vegetables had indeed ended up on the table already. “I’m not,” he replied simply, scooping another spoonful of rice into his mouth, being careful not to spill anything this time. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, yeah,” Yeonjun chuckled. “If you wanna say hi to him that much, you can always ask Soobinie, y’know? The two of them seem really close already.” It was true, Soobin had been stuck to the new boy’s side the whole day, and though the new boy seemed somewhat shy and quiet around most of the other trainees, he did seem to be almost completely comfortable in Soobin’s presence. But… Taehyun averted his eyes and scratched his neck absently. “I’m not that close to Soobin hyung yet…” he mumbled.</p><p> </p><p>He heard Yeonjun hum, as if he was contemplating something for a few seconds, then all of a sudden, he jumped to his feet, started waving his arms and yelled, “SOOBIN-AH!!” across the distance of the cafeteria. A considerable number of heads turned in their direction, and while that made Taehyun feel the incredible urge to hide his face in his hands and never show it again, Yeonjun didn’t seem to mind one bit. </p><p> </p><p>Across the cafeteria, Soobin looked up in surprise, having been mid-conversation with the new boy himself. Yeonjun’s grin brightened, and he beckoned him over with his hands. <em> “Bring the new trainee with you,” </em> he mouthed. Soobin’s eyes lit up in understanding, and he pointed at the boy beside him. <em> “Him?” </em> he mouthed back. Yeonjun nodded his head excitedly in confirmation. Soobin took hold of the new boy’s arm and tugged him out of his chair, and Taehyun noted how the mild confusion in his eyes made him look somewhat like a deer caught in headlights.</p><p> </p><p>“So,” Yeonjun grinned, throwing an arm around Soobin’s shoulders and ruffling the tall boy’s hair affectionately with his free hand, “Who’s the new bestie?” Soobin laughed and shook his head, flicking his fluffy black hair out of his eyes. “Yeonjun hyung~, Taehyun,” he started with a welcoming smile that made Taehyun feel immediately a little bit more at ease, “This is Huening Kai. He joined the company while you and the others were in the States training… but I guess you already figured that much out?” </p><p> </p><p>Then Soobin turned to the new boy - Huening Kai, Taehyun corrected himself, now that he knew his name - and smiled with a fondness Taehyun wasn’t sure he’d ever seen in this hyung’s eyes before. Immediately, it hit him that <em> oh </em> . <em> This boy is something special </em>. “Kai-ah,” Soobin said, and Taehyun realised with a bit of surprise that the shorter boy was staring at him with something that looked like a mixture of curiosity and wonder in his eyes. “This is Choi Yeonjun and Kang Taehyun. Two of BigHit’s best.” Kai’s eyes suddenly bugged out and he spun his head around to stare at Soobin. “You mean-“ he squeaked, his voice cracking just a little bit, and Taehyun found himself wanting to giggle, “you mean the same Choi Yeonjun and Kang Taehyun whose names were at rank 1 and 2 for all areas of evaluation on the monthly scoreboard when I first got here?” Soobin smiled knowingly and rolled his eyes at the sound of Yeonjun’s surprised and bubbly laughter. “Yep,” he replied, ignoring the way the oldest had begun shaking him back and forth, clearly excited to know that his legendary status had been maintained even in the few months he hadn’t been around, “This is them. They’re not as scary as you think, I promise.” Then he paused. His next sentence came out a little bit mumbled, and he wouldn’t look at Taehyun as he said it. “Well at least… Yeonjun hyung isn’t as scary as you think.”</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun spluttered in surprise, and Yeonjun burst out laughing. “Soobin hyung…!” Yeonjun was laughing so hard he had to lean much of his weight on an already-embarrassed Soobin for support. “S-Soobin-ah,” he wheezed out, “You mean to tell me that after all this time, you’re still this intimidated by- by someone younger than you?” Soobin’s ears were going red, and Taehyun was too distracted to notice that amidst everything, Kai was still throwing small, curious glances in his direction. “He gets really intense when we’re training!!” Soobin whined, trying to defend himself.</p><p> </p><p>“Taehyun...hyung?” It took Taehyun a moment to realise it was his name that had been called. He wasn’t used to hearing ‘hyung’ after it. He turned away from his still-chatting hyungs and saw Kai smiling at him nervously, hands hovering in the air like he wasn’t quite sure what to do with them. “Oh,” Taehyun replied, clearing his throat, “How, uh- How old are you? I was…” He trailed off awkwardly. It’d be a little weird to say he was wondering about it, wouldn’t it? He hoped Kai wouldn’t notice.</p><p> </p><p>“2002,” Kai replied, “You?” Taehyun’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “Oh!” he said, “Me too! We’re the same age, then.” Kai’s mouth formed a surprised little ‘o’, and he smiled politely, but didn’t say any more. Something in his eyes told Taehyun that there was more he wanted to ask, but he wasn’t asking it. And Taehyun wasn’t sure what he could do about that. So he didn’t.</p><p> </p><p>That was the day that Kang Taehyun first met the force of nature known by the rest of the world as Kai Kamal Huening.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>“This month’s vocal evaluation will be slightly different from previous months.” A murmur went through the small crowd of trainees upon hearing those words from their vocal coach. Taehyun sat up a little straighter. Interesting. He wondered what the difference would be. At the back of his mind, he told himself not to worry - a vocal evaluation was still a vocal evaluation. And he would do everything he possibly could do to achieve his best results. “For this month’s evaluation,” the vocal coach said, glancing at the sheet of paper in her hands, “You will be tasked to sing a duet with another trainee.” The chatter in the crowd got exponentially louder. “Your duet partners have already been preassigned to you; your task is to work together with your partner to find and perform a song that is able to best showcase both of your vocal abilities. I will now read out the assigned pairings. Lee Heeseung, Choi Soobin…”</p><p> </p><p>As she read out the pairs, the other trainees began getting up to find their partners so that they could begin discussing what song to pick. Taehyun rocked back and forth with his legs crossed, waiting nervously for his name to be called. Whose voice did they choose to pair his with, he wondered, and why?</p><p> </p><p>“Kang Taehyun, Huening Kai.”</p><p> </p><p>Oh.</p><p> </p><p>Somehow, he hadn’t been expecting that. </p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t a bad pairing though, he thought as he stood up and caught sight of the lanky boy sitting on the other side of the cluster doing the same. Though they hadn’t spoken with each other much since the day they’d first been properly introduced, Taehyun had gotten to hear Huening Kai sing a couple of times. He was good. His voice was clear and crisp, he could hit high notes while keeping his voice stable. If he thought about it that way, it kind of made sense why the trainers had chosen to put the two of them together. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey,” he greeted as he shuffled across the room and came to a stop where Huening Kai had been standing and waiting for him. “Hi,” Kai replied with a small wave of his hand.</p><p> </p><p>Followed by several, <em> painfully </em> long seconds of silence.</p><p> </p><p>Alright. So maybe this wouldn’t be as easy as Taehyun had thought.</p><p> </p><p>He cleared his throat. “So, uh…” Taehyun started, “Have you got any ideas for what kind of song we should sing?” Huening Kai laughed awkwardly. “No… I was going to ask you.” Taehyun furrowed his brows before he could stop himself. No ideas at all? Not even one? How did he expect to score well on an evaluation like that? Still, Taehyun cleared his throat. No use getting mad, he decided, since he could tell at the very least that the other boy had no ill intentions. He would just have to work with whatever they had. He refused to let anything get in the way of him achieving a good evaluation score. </p><p> </p><p>“Well then… Do you have any favourite artists? Under any genre, we might as well figure out how broad our options are anyway,” Taehyun prompted, “I like BTS and Justin Bieber. SHINee too.” Huening Kai’s eyes immediately lit up, and Taehyun felt like he’d hit the Right Question Jackpot. “Me too!” he said, moving his hands around to better convey his excitement, “I love One Direction’s songs too, and Bruno Mars!” Despite his annoyance mere moments ago, Taehyun found himself beginning to smile at the shorter boy’s enthusiasm. It was clear as day just how much this boy loved music. <em> Well. That makes us the same then </em>, Taehyun thought.</p><p> </p><p>“Then, how about this,” Taehyun suggested, “Let’s both pick one song each from our favourite artists, and meet back in one of the empty training rooms in an hour. Then we can try everything out, and see which one works best.” Huening Kai nodded. “Sounds good to me!” Alright then. They had a plan. Everything was going to work out fine.</p><p> </p><p>Three hours later, nothing was working out fine.</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun was frustrated, but he knew he wasn’t the only one - Huening Kai was too. The shorter boy had started chewing on the end of his mechanical pencil as a method to take out his frustration without bothering anyone else. They’d tried song after song after song, and nothing sounded… right. Sure, there were some good ones, but they both knew that they had to be better than <em> good </em> . Just good wasn’t going to be enough. They had to be spectacular, they had to be amazing, they had to be showstopping. They had to be <em> perfect </em>. And perfect was something that they just weren’t finding.</p><p> </p><p>The song that had been playing over the speakers ended, and Taehyun sighed as he scratched Carly Rae Jepsen’s ‘Call Me Maybe’ off the list of potential candidates. Why couldn’t they find the right song? Why couldn’t they just figure it out? How many genres and artists had they gone through already?</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun sighed and let his ballpoint pen fall to the floor. The clatter of plastic against wood sounded strangely satisfying to his tired brain. “Kai, I’m gonna go to the toilet and wash my face,” he sighed, “I’ll be right back. Sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>“Mm, take your time,” Kai sighed, letting his head fall forward onto his arms.</p><p> </p><p>As Taehyun shuffled to the washroom, he went over the things he’d figured out in the past few hours that didn’t have to do with song choices, to give his mind a little break. First: Huening Kai gets cold easily. Either that, or he just likes to wear hoodies. Second: Huening Kai has a habit of humming or making strange little sound effects to fill in gaps in conversation, or whenever he’s thinking about something. He also likes to look upwards when he thinks. Third: Huening Kai’s voice is a lot more than what Taehyun thought it was. Aside from being crisp and clean and able to hit high notes, Taehyun had noticed a sort of innate ability the other boy had to pour all of his emotions into his voice when he sang. Listening to him sing made Taehyun feel like he was being drawn into the song, pulled into whatever story it was telling, and somehow, being beckoned still closer. </p><p> </p><p>Huening Kai had a voice that sounded like warmth and honey, like stardust and hope. It was the kind of voice that made you want to fall into its embrace.</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun splashed cold tap water over his face.</p><p> </p><p>He had to figure out the best possible way to showcase that voice, and meld it with his own. </p><p> </p><p>Taehyun made his way back from the washroom, but he paused outside the door to the training room he’d been in with Kai, his hand hovering just above the doorknob.</p><p> </p><p>He could hear music playing inside the room.</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun was surprised. He hadn’t expected Kai to get off the floor in the time he’d gone to the toilet, much less start playing another song. And as he listened closer, he realised that someone was singing. Kai was singing. And something inside him told him that he needed to <em> listen </em>. Afraid that if he opened the door the whole way, Kai would stop singing, Taehyun pushed the door open just a crack, and pressed his ear to the gap. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “...we’d be alright, yeah we would be alright, if you were by my side and we stumbled in the dark I know we’d be alright, yeah we would be alri-i-ight!” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun felt his mouth fall open.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “...Oh, I’ve been shaking, I love it when you go crazy, you take all my inhibitions - baby, there’s nothin’ holding me back!” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Huening Kai’s voice was filled with more passion and fire than Taehyun had ever heard it before. Every note, every word out of his mouth flew into Taehyun’s head and made him dizzy, punched the air right out of him, made him absolutely ache to sing along with him. Maybe it was his desperation. Maybe it was some form of catharsis. Maybe he just really liked Shawn Mendes. But whatever it was… this was it. This was <em> it </em>. This was the perfect that they’d been looking for. Or it was as close to perfect as they were going to get.</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun slammed the door open the rest of the way and Huening Kai jumped about half a metre into the air with a piercing shriek. </p><p> </p><p>“Kai,” Taehyun said, determination lighting his eyes in a way that made the shorter boy stop and stare, “Can we try this song together from the top?” </p><p> </p><p>And a week and a half later, when the evaluation results came out, and Taehyun saw the names KANG TAEHYUN, HUENING KAI next to the words RANK [ _ /12] : 3RD, he turned around, found Huening Kai’s eyes amidst the rest of the crowd, and grinned.</p><p> </p><p>Huening Kai grinned back.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Taehyun, Hueningie, can the two of you do me a favour?”</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun paused, his toothbrush halfway to his mouth. Next to him, Huening Kai nodded, already in the middle of brushing his teeth. “Like… Right now?” Taehyun asked, blinking blearily at the eldest member of their team. About two months ago, their debut team had finally been announced - seeing his name on the list next to four familiar others under FINALISED DEBUT TEAM: TOMORROW X TOGETHER was a rush unlike any other Taehyun had yet experienced in his life - and the five of them had since begun living together in a dorm separate from the rest of the trainees. Taehyun was starting to get used to living with Yeonjun, Soobin, Beomgyu, and Kai. He was getting used to living with all their little habits too. But that still didn’t quite explain why at 2:47am, when they’d all finally come back to their dorm after a long and gruelling night of dance practice, and Taehyun wanted nothing more than to simply collapse into a heap on the floor and go into long-term hibernation, Yeonjun was standing in the bathroom, asking him and Kai for a favour.</p><p> </p><p>Yeonjun shook his head. “No, not right now,” he said, running a hand through his hair and half-stifling a large yawn. “Whaf fo yh neef, Yeonfun hyunf?” Kai asked, blinking so slowly that Taehyun thought he looked like a sloth, if sloths had shiny eyes and floppy hair. </p><p> </p><p>“You guys have school tomorrow, right?” Yeonjun asked. It was then that Taehyun noticed the eldest was already in his pajamas, and was holding a pillow in his arms. “Yeah,” Taehyun replied, at the same time that Kai nodded slowly. “Okay,” Yeonjun said with what sounded like relief, edging past them and stepping into the bathtub, then sitting himself down inside it. Taehyun squinted in confusion. Huening Kai just blinked. </p><p> </p><p>“When you two wake up for school,” Yeonjun instructed, putting his pillow between his head and the hard surface where the edge of the bathtub met the wall, “I want you two to turn the shower on.”</p><p> </p><p>“…Comf agaifn?”</p><p> </p><p>And maybe it hit Yeonjun just how much of an explanation he had not given, because he paused and squinted at nothing for a moment, before trying again. “I gotta wake up early tomorrow- I mean, today for something. And because I’m about 98% sure that I’m not gonna be able to wake up in time on my own, and the two of you have to wake up on time anyway to make it to school, I am going to sleep here in the bathtub. And when you two wake up, I want you to turn the shower on and douse me with water and wake me up with you. So I won’t oversleep.” Taehyun took a moment to process all of that, and the absurdity of it all hit him belatedly, but he was still too tired to cough up a proper laugh in response. “Sure,” he agreed before shoving his toothbrush into his mouth, and Kai responded with a feeble thumbs up.</p><p> </p><p>Three short hours later (it felt like he’d only shut his eyes for three seconds, but there wasn’t anything Taehyun could do about it) Taehyun woke to the very irritating noise of his phone alarm blaring directly into his left ear. He rubbed his eyes and sat up - it was still dark out, but the city’s light pollution lit their dorm room through its two small windows. He could hear another cheerier alarm blaring off to his right, but judging by the lack of other sounds near it, Huening Kai was still fast asleep. </p><p> </p><p>Taehyun picked himself off the floor and groaned softly, hitting the stop alarm button on his phone without needing to look at his screen. His legs and arms still ached from the extensive practice they’d gone through just the night before, and he wished that he could stop time, just to get himself another hour or two of rest before having to go to school. But time waited for no one.</p><p> </p><p>He shuffled over to where Huening Kai lay, still tucked ever so peacefully in his slumber. Taehyun reached a hand out to shake him awake, but something made him pause, his hand hovering just a few centimetres above the other boy’s shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>Huening Kai really was pretty.</p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t an unknown fact, of course, Taehyun knew. He wouldn’t have been casted by an entertainment company in the first place if he wasn't. But there was something even more enchanting about the boy in front of him when he was asleep. He was the image of peace itself, the kind of face you’d expect to see in Renaissance paintings, lounging beneath a tree with its leaves rustling in the gentle breeze, lying by a stream, clear and cool and blue and all things fresh and lively, asleep over the windowsill of an ivy-covered cottage, warm sun rays kissing his skin.</p><p> </p><p>He’d grown taller since they first met; Huening Kai was now around the same height as Taehyun. Taehyun had forgotten, amidst all the rush and struggle of balancing the different parts of his life and excelling in them all, exactly when it had been that he had stopped having to tilt his head down when he talked to the other boy. It was strange to Taehyun, realising that he’d watched someone grow like this. Someone who was the same age as him, someone who’d been so much smaller when they first met. And someone who was suddenly next to him all the time, when he hadn’t been before.</p><p> </p><p>The more time he spent around someone, Taehyun realised, the harder it became to notice the little things about them.</p><p> </p><p>He decided that maybe he should try paying more attention to the little things, from then on. Just in case they’d fly by without him noticing. Just in case he’d miss them.</p><p> </p><p>“Huening Kai,” he called then, putting his hand gently on the other boy’s shoulder and giving it a good shake, “Your alarm. C’mon… School.” Slowly, Kai’s long eyelashes began to twitch, and he opened his eyes groggily. “Yh- Y’njun hyung… Shower,” he said, and it took Taehyun a moment to realise what he meant. He’d forgotten about the favour their hyung had asked of them. He looked up in the direction of the toilet, and startled when he felt a pressure on his arm. He quickly realised that it was just Huening Kai’s hand, warm against the chill of an early September morning, and clumsy, fumbling in his barely-awake state to hold on to something so that it would be easier for him to sit up.</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun sat back on his heels, but kept his arm out, and tugged forward gently to help Huening Kai up once he was sure the other boy had gotten a firm enough grip. </p><p> </p><p>Some moments later, when Taehyun had made the trudge over to the bathroom and flicked the light on, Huening Kai barely a few steps behind him, he was greeted with the sight of a fast-asleep Yeonjun inside the tub. “Kai,” he called with a cheeky smile, gingerly pulling the pillow out from behind Yeonjun so it wouldn’t get wet in the shower, “Would you like to do the honours?” If there was one thing that Taehyun had learned for sure about this boy in the past two months that he hadn’t been aware of before, it was that he <em> loved </em> mischief. And it wasn’t often that he had a chance to be mischievous handed to him on a platter like this. </p><p> </p><p>It took a moment for the question to register. But as soon as it did - as expected - Huening Kai’s eyes lit up. Taehyun grinned. He didn’t need to hear his answer to know what it would be. “I‘ll go put this pillow back outside then,” he said, moving out of the way so that Kai would have a clear path to the shower knob. </p><p> </p><p>Taehyun had barely taken three steps away from the bathroom when he heard the sound of running water, and his smile grew wider instinctively. He dropped Yeonjun’s pillow on his bed, careful not to wake either of the other two hyungs. Not that it would matter, he realised belatedly, since both Soobin and Beomgyu were the most likely candidates out of all five of them to be able to sleep through a literal apocalypse. But it was the thought that counted, he supposed. He shuffled over to the mess of clothes and hangers they collectively called a closet, and pulled open a specific plastic blue drawer that he knew by now was labelled “Taehyunie’s Uniforms” even though he couldn’t make any words out clearly in this lighting, or lack thereof. It was as he pulled a clean shirt and pants out of the drawer that he heard the sound of footsteps shuffling towards him.</p><p> </p><p>“Taehyunie,” it was Kai. And for some reason, Taehyun could hear laughter at the tip of his tongue. He could tell Kai was doing his very best not to burst out laughing right then and there, and he wondered why. “He’s… He’s <em> not </em> waking up.” Taehyun snorted in disbelief. “He’s <em> what </em>?” Kai beckoned him over excitedly. “C’mon, you have to see this.” Taehyun trailed behind Kai, one hand clutching his uniform, and the other holding on to the back of Kai’s pajama shirt, feeling just a little too worried that one of them might trip over something in the dark amidst their hurry back to the bathroom. </p><p> </p><p>Neither of them tripped over anything. Instead, they made it safely to the bathroom, and Taehyun was rewarded with the sight of Yeonjun, still fast asleep in the tub, completely drenched from head to toe in water, and the shower still running. </p><p> </p><p>Taehyun looked at Huening Kai. </p><p> </p><p>Huening Kai looked at Taehyun.</p><p> </p><p>And in absolute sync, both of them burst into uncontrollable laughter.</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun could feel tears forming in his eyes from how hard he was laughing, but he couldn’t stop himself. Maybe it was the lack of sleep that made everything seem ten times funnier than it should have been. Maybe it was the adrenaline from knowing that it was barely past 6 in the morning, and if they managed to rouse one of the other two hyungs from their slumber, the two of them might not make it to school alive. Or maybe it was the sound of Kai’s laughter beside him, loud, bright, and unbridled, that made Taehyun unable to control his own. Kai laughed like he didn’t have a care in the world, like any weight that might have been on his shoulders fell away as soon as he started giggling. His laugh wasn’t the sound of falling stardust, no - it wasn’t precious in that kind of delicate way. His laugh was more like the sound of sunlight and fireworks; stunning, bright, explosive, and gorgeous. Warm, so warm, it was the kind of sound that filled anyone listening to it with a gentle sort of buzzing energy from head to toe. </p><p> </p><p>Kai laughed, Taehyun thought, like he was a little bit in love with every single thing he saw. </p><p> </p><p>Taehyun was only human. He had never been in love with every single thing he knew. There were things he hated, and things he simply looked past, never noticing, never looking twice at. The world wasn’t anything amazing. It was simply the world. </p><p> </p><p>But with Huening Kai, he was starting to see a little bit more wonder in everything.</p><p> </p><p>It was a bit like having the sun right next to him in the wee hours of the morning in that little bathroom, clinging onto his shoulder for support as they laughed and laughed, the sound of running water and Yeonjun hyung’s small, confused groans filling their ears like music.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>America was a different world entirely.</p><p> </p><p>It was kind of still the same at the end of the day, because Taehyun was still with Yeonjun, Soobin, Beomgyu, and Kai, but it was still so different that it made his head spin. Suddenly there was no school, no visiting his parents on alternating weekends, no ganjang gejang ( <em> “it’s a </em> serious <em> concern Soobin hyung, you can’t tell me you don’t miss tteokbokki” </em>), no visiting arcades after school, no playing soccer with his friends. The snacks they sold at supermarkets and convenience stores were different, the railway system wasn’t quite the same, cars drove on the opposite side of the road, and everything was in English. Everything. Sure, Taehyun had always gotten good marks for English in school, but learning the language in a classroom and actually using it daily in conversation with people who grew up with it as a first language were two different things entirely. </p><p> </p><p>Still, Taehyun was getting by. There was a lot he missed about Korea and Seoul, but he often found himself too caught up in their training to really dwell on it. It helped that he had the members with him. It especially helped that he had Kai.</p><p> </p><p>All five of them had started talking in their free time, about the future. They’d be walking out to get groceries as the sun had just begun to set, and Beomgyu would say something like, “Hehe… In a few years time, we won’t be able to do this anymore, don’t you think?” Yeonjun would laugh. “Why, do you think we’ll get mobbed on our way to the grocery store?” “Kyaaa!” Kai would gasp, his voice pitched even higher than usual, eyes blown wide and hands gesturing wildly, “It’s Tomorrow X Together!! My favourite idol group! I can’t believe it!!” Soobin would grab Beomgyu’s arm and shake it back and forth, staring at the younger boy with exaggerated puppy eyes just to make him laugh. “Beomgyu-ssi, Beomgyu-ssi, won’t you please give me your signature? Pleeeeaaase?” And Taehyun would laugh the whole time.</p><p> </p><p>The conversations always started lighthearted, but once they’d purchased enough ham, eggs, bread, instant hash browns and cup noodles to last them through another week or two and started on their route back home, something would shift. </p><p> </p><p>“Do you think they’ll like us?”</p><p> </p><p>It was always Beomgyu hyung who spoke first. </p><p> </p><p>A huff of laughter escaped Taehyun’s lips. “Why’d you ask, all of a sudden?” Beomgyu just shrugged. The truth was, Taehyun knew exactly why. He’d lost count of the number of times the exact same question had flown through his mind already, ever since the company had sent them to America to increase the group’s skill level and readiness for debut. Beomgyu hyung always asked the hardest questions, but they were always the questions that everyone constantly had on their minds, without giving voice to. Taehyun admired him a lot for always being the first one to give voice to them.</p><p> </p><p>“I hope so,” Kai said. A pause, then, “I really want them to. ‘Cause… I really want to make people happy.”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course they‘ll like us,” Yeonjun said, but they all knew he sounded more confident than he really was. This was a question none of them knew the answer to. All they could do was hope. There was silence for a while longer, nothing filling their ears but the sound of wind through the trees on the sidewalk, cars whizzing past, and the <em> crunch, crunch, crunch </em> of five sets of footsteps on pavement. </p><p> </p><p>“I believe in the five of us.”</p><p> </p><p>When Soobin spoke, all four of them turned to look at him. </p><p> </p><p>“All five of us are here now because the company believes that we have what it takes to debut. We have what it takes to become successful idols. All five of us have what it takes inside of us.” Soobin smiled. “And we have each other, too. That’s why I believe in us. We’re never going to be alone as long as we have each other. We’ll make it happen. We’re gonna make the whole world fall in love with Tomorrow X Together.”</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun wasn’t sure when he’d started smiling, but he was sure that all the other members were smiling too. “Ah!” Beomgyu sighed with a fond grin, “As expected of our reliable leader!” Soobin groaned and nudged him with his shoulder, sending the smaller boy teetering to the side with a laugh. “Stop reminding me, hearing that title is so stressful,” he complained. “What are you stressed about?” Taehyun asked incredulously, and at the same moment, he heard another voice say the exact same thing beside him. He didn’t have to turn to know that it was Huening Kai. “You’re already doing amazing, hyung,” Kai chimed, and Taehyun nodded his head firmly in agreement. “Exactly,” he reinforced.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin smiled lopsidedly at them. “Thanks,” was all he said, but any one of them could tell just how much he meant it. </p><p> </p><p>“Ah, speaking of which,” Yeonjun spoke up then, “What about the two of you?” Taehyun tilted his head instead of asking for clarification aloud. “What do you mean?” Kai asked. “You know,” Yeonjun grunted, hefting a bag of groceries over his shoulder instead of letting it dangle beside him, “being the youngest members and all. It’s a pretty big responsibility too, isn’t it? If there’s ever anything bothering you two, you can always come and talk to us about it, you know.”</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun hummed. “It’s not actually as hard as it seems,” he answered. “Or maybe it’s just easier for us because we have each other, y’know? It’s not a one-person job. Yeah. I’m okay as long as I have Kai with me.” Taehyun hadn’t been looking up as he spoke, his truth easily slipping past his lips as he kicked a small pebble forward with every step he took. He kicked it once more, and the pebble rolled away and fell into a drain with a clink. Only then did he look up.</p><p> </p><p>And instantly, he regretted it. Kai was grinning at him from ear to ear, eyes shining with pride and confidence. It wasn’t often that Taehyun admitted something like that. “Awwwww, Taehyunie!” Kai teased, nudging his shoulder with his own, and Taehyun felt the tips of his ears go hot, prickling with embarrassment. “You didn’t hear anything. I didn’t say anything, shut up,” he mumbled, but he couldn’t help the way his lips were curving into a fond smile. “Taehyunie loves me!” Kai proclaimed as their hyungs watched affectionately, and Taehyun stuck his tongue out at him. </p><p> </p><p>He didn’t bother denying it.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>The bus ride to Namsan tower was strangely peaceful.</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun hadn’t expected it. <em> Will I really be able to enjoy the trip when I have to pretend the whole time that I don’t see the cameramen with us recording our every move? </em> he’d wondered the night before. It seemed like an intimidating idea to him. Even when they’d filmed stuff in America, they’d done most of it themselves, without a crew. It had just been the five of them and their manager, and that had made it easier to be themselves. He wasn’t sure what to expect this time. But so far, it was going a lot better than he’d expected it to.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe it was the fact that he could feel the warmth of Kai’s body right next to him, their shoulders pressed together, jostling with every little bump the bus drove over. The boy beside him felt like an anchor. The cameras in front of them told him, <em> “You are TAEHYUN of TOMORROW X TOGETHER. You are an idol. You have a reputation to uphold. You have to be perfect.” </em></p><p> </p><p>But the boy beside him said, <em> “You’re Taehyun. Just Taehyun. Kang Taehyun. You’re my friend. You only have to be yourself.” </em></p><p> </p><p>Not aloud, of course. But when Taehyun slipped his hand into Kai’s between their seats, low enough that it’d be out of view of the cameras, and Kai adjusted his hand so he could give Taehyun’s a comforting little squeeze, he could hear the unspoken words all the same.</p><p> </p><p>“You’ve <em> never </em> been to Namsan tower before? Not once in your life?” Taehyun was genuinely incredulous, and Kai was very clearly avoiding meeting his questioning eyes. ( <em> Cute </em>, Taehyun thought at the back of his mind, but he shoved the thought away before it could have a chance to take root.) “But your school is right in front of it!” Kai nodded. “It really is,” he agreed with a huff of laughter, “But I never had the time.”</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun looked away, letting his gaze wander out the window, his eyes scanning the cold, open outdoors while his own hand remained clasped in the gentle, reassuring warmth of Kai’s. “Well, if it makes you feel any better,” Taehyun said, tracing little circles on the side of Kai’s hand with his thumb, “I’ve lived in Seoul for 17 years, and I’ve never been to Namsan tower either.” Kai let out a soft huff of air - Taehyun had come to realise that the boy’s laughter came in a whole variety of shapes and forms, and the quiet exhalation was the one he reserved for little moments of fondness - and said, “Well, I guess that makes this a first for both of us, then.”</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun didn’t mind the idea of that at all.</p><p> </p><p>When the bus reached its final destination, Kai slipped his hand out of Taehyun’s. And immediately, Taehyun missed its warmth. Missed it a little more than was easily explainable. He didn’t want to think about it. So as soon as they’d both disembarked, he slipped his arm in through the crook of Kai’s elbow. Kai turned to look at him, not saying a word, but his eyes asked the question that his voice didn’t, and Taehyun answered, “I don’t want you getting lost on our first date.” And there it was again, that gentle little huff of laughter, and Taehyun felt for a moment as though he was the funniest person on earth. </p><p> </p><p>Kai was taller now, much taller than he’d been when they’d first met. Again, Taehyun had forgotten when exactly it was that he’d started having to tilt his head upwards to speak to the other boy. He was beginning to fill out his lanky frame, and with every passing day, he was growing more and more into his features. They both were, Taehyun realised, but it was easier to see it in Kai’s eyes than in his own. </p><p> </p><p>It was a lot easier to talk to Kai now than it had been when they’d first worked together all that time ago, Taehyun had come to realise. They’d started finishing each others’ sentences. Saying the same things at the same time. Knowing exactly how the other would react to something one of the hyungs said, before they even did. “These two…” Yeonjun had commented with a fond shake of his head one evening, when Soobin had been asking for ice cream orders, and Kai had shouted, “One mint chocolate for me, and one cherry for Taehyunie!” at the exact same time that Taehyun had called out, “One cherry for me, and one mint chocolate for Kai.” They were different, nothing alike. And yet, they were the exact same. Kai and Taehyun were two sides of the same coin.</p><p> </p><p>“We bought couple shoes,” Kai announced to the camera as they walked across the grounds of Namsan tower in perfect sync, “They’re in different colours, but the same model.”</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun hummed. Different and yet the same. Just like them. </p><p> </p><p>It made all the sense in the world.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s right.”</p><p>“The same.”</p><p>“That’s right.”</p><p> </p><p>That’s right.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Their debut was a whirlwind of emotions, excitement, nervousness, freedom, and pride. They watched in awe as one by one, their teasers were released, and each night it felt as though the whole entire world had their eyes and attention on them and only them. They practiced, harder and harder, didn’t want to let a second of their time go to waste now knowing just how many people were out there, waiting for them to show the world who they were. They debuted. Performed in front of a live audience for the first time in their lives as the idol group, TOMORROW X TOGETHER. They won their first music show trophy. Had their first fansigns. After years of nothing but practice, years of not being seen by anyone aside from their trainers, other trainees, and the company staff, being seen by the whole world at once felt like a fever dream. It made Taehyun’s head spin, and he knew he wasn’t the only one. All five of them felt the same.</p><p> </p><p>The fansigns were particularly interesting. It was crazy, Taehyun thought, meeting all these people in person. People who loved them, even though just months ago, they’d known nothing of them whatsoever. There were fans who were shy, seemed like they had more they’d wanted to say but couldn’t, fans who were so excited they talked a little too fast for Taehyun to catch everything they said, and fans who clearly just wanted to make him laugh. He loved them all. Even though by their third fansign, he’d heard enough pickup lines to be able to write a small anthology’s worth of them.</p><p> </p><p>“Taehyun-ah,” one fan asked eventually, “All five of the members currently share the same bedroom, right? If you could pick one member out of the others to be your roommate - say, if you ever had the chance to have your own rooms - who would you pick? I’m curious.”</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun thought about it for a moment. But he didn’t have to think for long.</p><p> </p><p>“Huening Kai,” he answered, “Because he’s the same age as me, and he’s a friend I’m always comfortable around. I think it’d be fun sharing a room with him.” The fan looked vaguely amused by his answer, and when Taehyun asked why, she just shook her head. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s just cute,” she answered, “Earlier, I asked Hueningie which member he thought would take the best care of him as an owner if he was a puppy or a kitten. At first he said Soobin, but then he thought about it a little longer and changed his answer to Taehyunie. It’s cute that the two of you trust each other like this. As a fan, I’m happy to know that you have each other to depend on!” She smiled as she took her album back from Taehyun. “I hope you do get the chance to be roommates someday.”</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun found himself thinking about his conversation with that fan for the rest of the day. He wasn’t sure why.</p><p> </p><p>But he’d like that too.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Stepping into America again after having made their debut felt surreal. The last time they’d been here, no one had known their names. Now there were people leaving home at the crack of dawn, lining up for hours, just to get a chance to see them perform. </p><p> </p><p>And Huening Kai was still by Taehyun’s side. </p><p> </p><p>A soft, “Race you to the Starbucks,” was all he heard before the boy beside him took off, dodging surprised pedestrians and ignoring the shouts of their managers, seemingly hearing only the sound of their hyungs’ laughter. “Yah! Why are you running, it’s not like it’s a competition?!” Beomgyu called out in between loud barks of laughter, but by the time the words left his mouth, Taehyun had already taken off after the youngest. The hyungs’ laughter only got louder.</p><p> </p><p>Kai had gotten a head start, but he wasn’t faster than Taehyun. He caught up to him in no time at all, and with a triumphant grin, Taehyun reached out and tapped his fingertips against the floor-to-ceiling glass windows mere seconds before the other boy managed to. The anguished wail that Kai let out only made him grin wider, but he quickly lifted a finger to his lips, reminding him that they were still in public. By the time Kai slapped his hands over his mouth in realisation, there were already several pairs of eyes on them, and Kai shrank into himself, the tips of his ears turning a rather lovely shade of vermillion.</p><p> </p><p>But his smile was still completely visible in his eyes. Taehyun noticed. It was hard for him not to.</p><p> </p><p>The people started looking away, and Taehyun ran a hand through his hair, brushing the chocolate locks out of his eyes. “Loser has to buy the winner a drink,” he declared, and Kai’s mouth fell open in mock surprise. “That was NOT in the rules,” Kai complained. “Please,” Taehyun scoffed, “as if you weren’t going to say the exact same thing to me if I had let you win.” The corners of Kai’s mouth twitched upwards and his eyes darted to the ground for a split second before coming back up to meet Taehyun’s gaze again, and Taehyun knew he’d already won. “N-no, I wouldn’t have!” Kai tried to insist, but the smile that was spreading across his lips said he knew damn well that he would have. Taehyun grinned.</p><p> </p><p>“I want an iced caramel macchiato. Grande.”</p><p> </p><p>Kai sighed, defeated. “At least you didn’t ask for a venti…”</p><p> </p><p>“What was that? You want to buy me a venti?”</p><p> </p><p>“One grande iced caramel macchiato! For our precious wonderful <em> and very kind </em> Taehyunie! What a <em> kind and caring </em> person!” Kai sang, reaching over to rub his belly, and Taehyun laughed so much, he almost managed to miss the sound of their managers’ footsteps finally catching up to them.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>The pier was very nearly the same as it had been the last time they’d been there.</p><p> </p><p>Some of the shops had closed, some were brand new, and some were the exact same. The smell of salt and machine oil remained the same as ever. The bracelet shop was still there, though the matching bracelets they’d bought a year ago had all gone missing apart from one. (Yeonjun hyung still kept his safely tucked away inside a drawer in their dorm in Seoul.) It was a perfect opportunity to buy new ones. It was funny, Taehyun thought. The last time, the bracelets had meant <em> “let’s do this” </em> . This time, they meant <em> “we did it” </em>. A promise turned into a reward. </p><p> </p><p>When they went down the sandy slopes and to the beach, Kai was the first one in the water. Taehyun followed close behind.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyunnie,” Kai challenged with a grin, a telling glint in his eye, “Let’s play a game.” Taehyun felt his stomach flip, but not unpleasantly. He chalked it down to the excitement of being back at Santa Monica with the others again. That was it, that was all. Nothing to do with Kai’s smile, nothing to do with Kai’s recently-acquired nickname for him. Nothing to do with Kai.</p><p> </p><p>He wondered how long he could keep telling himself that.</p><p> </p><p>“What game?” Taehyun challenged back, and he felt his stomach flip again when Kai’s smile broadened. Breakfast, he thought, it must have been breakfast. He must have had something off for breakfast. </p><p> </p><p>“Just rock-paper-scissors,” Kai replied, “Except we both start standing right at the edge of where the waves reach the shore, and every round, whoever loses has to take a step further into the water.” Taehyun grinned. “This sounds familiar,” he teased, and Kai shrugged, a wide-eyed look of faux concern flooding his features. “You lost so terribly that time we played this game at our concept photoshoot set, I thought I should be the bigger person and offer you a chance to avenge yourself.”</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun clicked his tongue. “Well, I’m not losing this time,” he declared, “My clothes are on the line.” Kai barked out a laugh. “So are mine,” he retorted, and Taehyun laughed, “Well, that’s on you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ready?” </p><p>“Ready!”</p><p>“Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!”</p><p> </p><p>The game didn’t last long. The waves were big and cold, and when a wave crashed in and Kai let out a shriek high-pitched enough to have half the beach turn their heads in his direction, Taehyun couldn’t help the bright laughter that tumbled past his lips. And Kai, jeans rolled up to his knees but still drenched at the bottom with cold seawater, arms still raised high in the air, hair falling into his eyes as it always did, in that way that made Taehyun itch to reach over and brush it away, turned to look at him.</p><p> </p><p>And he smiled.</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun almost forgot to keep laughing. A whole beach of people were staring at them. And yet, when Taehyun laughed, Huening Kai smiled at him as if he was the only other person there. As if he was the only person he wanted to look at.</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun felt his stomach flip.</p><p> </p><p>And he decided then to stop lying to himself.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hyuka,” Taehyun called, and Kai lifted his head with a gentle hum, eyes wide and bright as ever. “I’m ordering food, you want any? The hyungs all said no, but I don’t wanna eat alone.” That was a lie. The hyungs were playing Mario Kart in the living room, Taehyun hadn’t even asked them. But Kai didn’t have to know that. “What were you gonna order?” Kai asked, and Taehyun looked down at his phone screen. There was already an order open, and Taehyun’s thumb hovered over the confirm button.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Uwaahhh… You know what I feel like I haven’t eaten in ages?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Galbitang?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “No, I had galbitang last week.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Fried chicken?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “No, I had that a few days ago too.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Ramyeon?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Taehyunie, we literally had ramyeon for dinner last night.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “I know, but I thought maybe you forgot.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Kai clicked his tongue with a loud and dramatically disappointed sigh, and Taehyun laughed. There was an empty flimsy plastic water bottle in Kai’s hands, but he was too nice to fling it at him the way the others would have. Especially Beomgyu hyung.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “What is it, then?” Taehyun asked, wiping the sweat off his forehead with a towel and letting himself fall back against the cool, hard wall of the practice studio to catch his breath. Kai pouted. “Chicken feet…” he sighed, “I feel like I haven’t had it in ages.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Taehyun lifted his head back up to look at Kai. “Well, I was thinking of ordering chicken feet.”</p><p> </p><p>For a moment, Kai’s eyes sparkled. “Yes, please.” Taehyun smiled.</p><p> </p><p>There were stars in that boy’s eyes. And every so often, when he was lucky, Taehyun got to be the one who put them there. </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Whatever Taehyun had been expecting when Kai said he had a “fun little surprise” planned for this week’s Naver Now radio, it had most definitely <em> not </em> been <em> this </em>.</p><p> </p><p>“Taehyun-ssi!” Kai said, and Taehyun had the distinct feeling in his gut that something vaguely life-endangering was about to happen. “You said you like the webdrama A-Teen, right? So! I prepared a special, heart-fluttering confession scene from A-Teen for the two of us to act out!” He reached across the table with a wink to pass Taehyun a sheet of paper with a script on it, certain lines highlighted in bright blue. Taehyun’s lines. On a typical day, Taehyun might have been able to recite the confession scene in question without even needing a script. Unfortunately, at the moment, he felt like his heart was about to pound right out of his chest, and his mind was going at a mile a minute. All the tiny little Taehyuns in his brain were running around in manic circles and yelling. What the fuck.</p><p> </p><p>“Taehyun-ssi, you’re ready, right?” Kai winked again. <em> What the hell, </em> NO <em> , </em> Taehyun thought. He cleared his throat once. “Of course I am,” Taehyun replied, thanking whatever power was up there watching that the sound of his voice did not match the state of his insides. He took a deep breath. Okay. No biggie. Just a confession scene. Just re-enacting a confession scene from one of his favourite webdramas. With one of his closest friends.</p><p> </p><p>One of his closest friends whom he had a terribly huge crush on.</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun took a deep breath.</p><p> </p><p>“So… E likes C.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hm? E likes C? Who are they?”</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun valiantly ignored the way Beomgyu’s eyes flitted between the two of them as they read, as if he was realising something about them there and then. Soobin simply sat and watched, but Taehyun felt as though his hyung could see something in him that was more than just an act. He didn’t want to think about it.</p><p> </p><p>“Will you… go out with me? I like you.”</p><p> </p><p>By the time Taehyun realised that he’d lifted his head to look right at Kai as he said the line, the words had already left his mouth.</p><p> </p><p>And Kai was staring right back at him. His eyes wide, mouth hidden behind the sheet of paper in front of him, unblinking. It felt like the time around them was flowing as slow as honey. Taehyun wasn’t sure he could even feel his heart beating. He knew the silence was part of the script, but this- this was-</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun broke the eye contact first. </p><p> </p><p>“Why aren’t you answering? I’m embarrassed…” He stared at the script like it was the most interesting thing he’d ever seen in his life, and Kai immediately did the same across the table from him. The tips of Kai’s ears were going red. Taehyun could feel the back of his neck on fire.</p><p> </p><p>“I… ah… mm… I… I l-like you… t-too…” </p><p> </p><p>Taehyun felt like he couldn’t breathe. </p><p> </p><p>“What did you say? Yah!”</p><p> </p><p>“…I like you too!”</p><p> </p><p>In the car ride back to their dorm, Kai was unusually silent. He wasn’t even playing with his phone. He just sat there, fiddling with the hem of his jacket and staring out the window. Every so often, he would throw a glance in Taehyun’s direction, and Taehyun pretended he didn’t notice.</p><p> </p><p>But the next morning, when Kai greeted him with a sleepy, “Good morning, Hyunnie,” and then nearly tripped over a pair of socks on the floor on his way to the bathroom, it felt like everything had gone right back to normal again.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>“So, we haven’t confirmed who’s going to be in which performance subunit for the debut anniversary live yet,” their producer said, “But we do have this initial draft here, and we wanted you to try it out just once in these groupings first.” He slid the piece of paper across the table to where the five of them sat so they’d be able to see.</p><p> </p><p>Vocal: Taehyun, Huening Kai</p><p>Song: Confession of a Friend (2AM)</p><p>Dance: Yeonjun, Beomgyu, Soobin</p><p>Song: Dope (BTS)</p><p> </p><p>Beomgyu sucked in a breath of air. “PD-nim, if it isn’t finalised yet, do those of us in the dance unit still need to learn the whole choreography?” The producer shook his head. “No, just the chorus. And it doesn’t need to be perfect, we just want to get a general idea of how the performance would look. I trust that won’t be too much of a challenge for you.” Beomgyu nodded, and all three of the hyungs shared a look of agreement. </p><p> </p><p>Taehyun swallowed. Confession of a friend? He wasn’t looking up from the paper, but he could feel Kai’s eyes on him. “Taehyun, Huening Kai,” the producer said, “we’d like you to run the song by us today. Run through it a few times, then let one of your managers know when you’re ready to show it to us, we’ll come right down. Can you do that?” It wasn’t a question, of course. But Taehyun lifted his head with a smile all the same. “Of course,” he said, “the two of us can do anything.” When Beomgyu burst out laughing and Yeonjun let out an exasperated but clearly fond exhale, Kai reached his hand over to give Taehyun a high five. “Exactly!” Kai said, “We’re Huekang, we can do anything as long as we’re together.” The strange tension in the air had evaporated, much to Taehyun’s relief. Everything was going to be just fine.</p><p> </p><p>Except a couple of minutes later, when the two of them were alone in a practice room, and there was nothing to stare at apart from the lyrics in their hands and each other, everything was decidedly not fine. </p><p> </p><p>Taehyun took a deep breath. “Well,” he started, ignoring the fact that he was already feeling his face beginning to go warm, “since it’s just a run-through, and PD-nim only wants us to sing up to the end of the first chorus, wanna just… Split parts by verses?”</p><p> </p><p>“S-sure,” Kai replied, and Taehyun was too busy staring at the lyrics to notice that the other boy had stuttered. “I’ll take… I’ll take the first and third verses then,” Taehyun decided, “You okay with the second and fourth verses?” Kai nodded. “Alright, then… Let’s give it a shot.”</p><p> </p><p>As soon as the music started playing, Taehyun felt like he was losing himself. His heart was stuttering in his chest, beating far faster than was necessarily healthy, but there was nothing he could do about it. Taehyun was known for being wise, known for always having a plan, but he was helpless when it came to this. Every moment spent with Huening Kai tugged him deeper and deeper into an endless maze of light, warmth, laughter, and honey. Sweet. Inviting. Beautiful. Without an exit. Taehyun had no idea how far he’d been pulled in already, had no idea where he was. All he knew was that he was in far over his head, that on all sides, every part of him was surrounded by the unexplainable being that was Huening Kai. By all rights, he should have been terrified. By all rights, he should have felt incredibly lost. But he wasn’t. And he didn’t.</p><p> </p><p>It was Huening Kai, after all.</p><p> </p><p>“<em> It’s been a while since my heart started to change, little by little, </em> ” Taehyun sang, not letting his eyes leave the paper in his hands. He was too afraid of what his eyes might speak if he lifted his head to look at Kai. It wasn’t like the other boy needed Taehyun’s words to understand what he was really thinking, not anymore. He hadn’t needed them for a long while now. It was both terrifying and exhilarating, to be so utterly known by someone. To feel so seen. “ <em> Since I was suffering alone, from some time ago, every time you cried, I started hating the guy who made you cry. </em>” When he breathed in, his inhale was shaky.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>It’s better for me to protect you,</em>” came the next line across the room in that voice, and oh god, <em>that</em> <em>voice</em>. Taehyun felt like he was a trainee all over again, falling head first without even realising that he had been. “<em>That’s what I started thinking without realising. Now, I want to hug you, and love you,</em>” Kai sang, and something, something in his voice begged Taehyun to look up. To look at him. So he did.</p><p> </p><p>And Kai was looking right back.</p><p> </p><p>“<em> That’s what I started thinking. </em>”</p><p> </p><p>It felt like time had slowed to a stop around them. </p><p> </p><p>“<em> Baby, come to me now and be my lady, </em> ” Taehyun sang, and his chest ached, ached so much that he wasn’t sure how he was still singing, but he was. His eyes were on Kai’s, and Kai’s were on his, unshaking, hesitant and yet sure. When Kai took a step closer to him, Taehyun felt his world spin. “ <em> For far too long, I stood silently and watched. I hid my aching heart. </em>” God. This was real. This was far too real. Taehyun wanted to turn and run, run far away, where Kai would never be able to see him, never be able to look into his eyes and know right away that Taehyun meant every single word that was falling past his lips. But there he stood, staring right into Kai’s eyes as he sang, and he was rooted to the ground not because of fear. Not because of obligation.</p><p> </p><p>But because he thought he could almost see the exact same feelings shining out of Kai’s eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“<em> As your friend, </em>” Kai sang, and the sheer volume of the longing in his voice wasn’t something that could have been made up on the spot. Wasn’t something that could have bloomed overnight. Wasn’t something that could have been pretend. </p><p> </p><p>Taehyun had forgotten how to breathe. </p><p> </p><p>“<em> Because I have to live as your friend, I had to push this confession down my throat. </em>” Kai’s eyes were shining, alight with something that Taehyun was too afraid to give a name to, even if he knew. Taehyun’s arms ached. Ached to wrap themselves around the other boy, ached to call themselves his home. Ached to feel the gorgeous warmth of Huening Kai. </p><p> </p><p>“<em> But now, I’m going to confess, </em>” Kai sang.</p><p> </p><p>All of Taehyun ached to be his.</p><p> </p><p>“<em> I love you. </em>”</p><p> </p><p>There was a long silence that stretched out between them after the last line. The air was thick, almost painfully so. Taehyun felt as though he’d plunged off a cliff, and was now hanging in midair. No longer at the top, yet nowhere near the bottom. For the first time in a long while, he felt completely, utterly lost. </p><p> </p><p>It was too much.</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun cleared his throat.</p><p> </p><p>“I think-“ he said quietly, breaking his eyes away from Kai and staring at the half-crumpled lyrics sheet in his hand, “I think we can run it by the producers now.”</p><p> </p><p>When Kai replied, his voice was so much smaller than how Taehyun had grown used to hearing it. </p><p> </p><p>“Okay.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>When Beomgyu slammed his hand on the table directly in front of Taehyun’s homework while he was doing it, Taehyun jumped a good metre into the air. “Hyung, wh-”</p><p> </p><p>“Alright, listen. Are you and Kai going to work out whatever the hell happened between you two in the past week on your own, or are we going to have to physically make the two of you sit down in front of us and then facilitate your conversation for you?”</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun immediately averted his eyes. “Nothing happened-”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, right, and my middle name is Beyoncé,” Beomgyu scoffed. “Taehyunie, don’t try to lie to me. You know I know you far too well to fall for that.” Taehyun groaned. “What gave it away?” At this, Beomgyu laughed, and it immediately made Taehyun want the ground to open up and swallow him whole. “I don’t know,” Beomgyu started, and Taehyun was already dreading hearing the rest of the sentence, “The complete avoidance of direct eye contact and being left alone with each other? The sudden halt to any and every late night snack party between the two of you? The extremely awkward moment this morning when you were both about to go into the bathroom at the same time, but then you froze when you saw each other and very stiffly insisted the other go first over and over again until finally Yeonjun hyung was the one who went in first? I could go on.”</p><p> </p><p>“No, thank you, that’s a lovely list hyung, very informative, you can stop there. Please.”</p><p> </p><p>“…Taehyunie,” Beomgyu said, but this time, his voice was much gentler, “What happened?”</p><p> </p><p>When Taehyun didn’t answer, Beomgyu circled the table and pulled out the chair next to Taehyun, taking a seat without needing to be asked to do so and placing a comforting hand on Taehyun’s back. “Hey,” he said, “You don’t have to tell me, okay. You don’t have to tell anyone else. But whatever happened, you need to talk to Kai about it. I can tell- Hell, we can all tell that you’re both avoiding it. But you can’t avoid this forever, Taehyun. When things like this happen, you have to work them out. That’s what friends do. And he’s your best friend, isn’t he?”</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun sighed heavily, letting his head fall onto his arms, crossed on the table. “Yeah. He’s my best friend,” Taehyun mumbled. “That’s why I’m so afraid of this.”</p><p> </p><p>There was silence for a few moments, and Taehyun knew his hyung was thinking. He had a feeling that though he wasn’t saying it, Beomgyu knew what had happened. Or at least, that he had some idea of what the truth was. </p><p> </p><p>“I get that,” Beomgyu finally whispered, “Trust me. I do. More than you might know.” Taehyun tilted his head so that he could look at his hyung as he spoke. “I get being afraid. I get not knowing what’s right. I get feeling lost, like you don’t know what to do.”</p><p> </p><p>Beomgyu’s voice went so small that Taehyun almost missed it.</p><p> </p><p>“I get being in love with your best friend.”</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun sat up straight in his chair.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung-”</p><p> </p><p>“I get it,” Beomgyu cut him off with decisiveness, “And that’s why I’m saying you need to talk to him, Taehyun.”</p><p> </p><p>“But if you get it, then why-”</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun felt the grip of Beomgyu’s hand tighten around his shoulder. It was solid. It was warm. It was sure. It said, <em> “Trust me.” </em></p><p> </p><p>“Trust me,” said Beomgyu.</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun took a deep breath. And then he stood up, ignoring the sound of metal chair legs grating across wooden flooring. “Where is he, hyung?”</p><p> </p><p>Beomgyu’s eyes shone with pride. “With Soobin hyung and Yeonjun hyung. I’ll take you to him.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>As soon as Beomgyu pushed open the door to the practice room, Yeonjun and Soobin’s heads whipped around to face them. When they saw Taehyun behind him, they got to their feet, immediately moving towards the exit. When they walked past him, Yeonjun patted Taehyun’s shoulder twice without saying a word, and Soobin whispered, “Good luck.” And then Beomgyu closed the door behind them, and it was just them. Just Kai and Taehyun. Alone.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey,” said Taehyun.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey,” murmured Kai. </p><p> </p><p>Neither of them said anything for several long seconds. And then-</p><p> </p><p>“Hyuka-”</p><p>“Taehyun-”</p><p> </p><p>They both paused and stared at each other, eyes wide. They’d spoken at the exact same time. There was silence for another few more seconds, then-</p><p> </p><p>“You go first,” both of them said, in perfect sync. “No, it’s okay, you can-” the same sentence died in both of their mouths at the same time. The silence this time round was more disbelief than anything else, and then before either of them knew what was happening, they’d both started laughing. It was incredible, Taehyun thought, for the two of them to have been avoiding each other so much for a solid week, only to come back to each other and still be so terrifyingly in sync that they couldn’t even find a place to start their conversation.</p><p> </p><p>God, he’d missed this. The sound of Kai’s laughter. The brightness of his smile. The feeling of being in the presence of a soul that felt like a missing piece of his own. He’d missed it all.</p><p> </p><p>He’d missed Kai.</p><p> </p><p>“Taehyunie,” Kai said, the look of apprehension he’d been wearing earlier now replaced by a smile, and oh, happiness simply belonged on that face. “Please. Go first.”</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun sighed. His heart was beating fast again. He’d come to realise that it was just one of the effects of being around Kai. But he still took a step closer to where the taller boy was still sitting on the floor of the practice room, smiling at him like he was waiting. Like he would wait years if that would be how long it’d take Taehyun to cross the distance between them.</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun didn’t want to make him wait any longer.</p><p> </p><p>“Kai,” he started, and it was like years of memories, of thoughts, of emotions came crashing down on him like a wave all at once. The boy in the cartoon shark t-shirt. The boy who liked Shawn Mendes. The boy who slept like a painting. The boy who made being the youngest easier. The boy who was nothing like him, and exactly like him, all at once. The boy who thought he took the best care of him. The boy who took the best care of him in return. The boy who made him feel like he could just be a dumb teenager. The boy who made him feel like himself. The boy who knew him better than any other person in the entire world. The boy who was his best friend.</p><p> </p><p>The boy he was in love with.</p><p> </p><p>“Kai-ah,” Taehyun breathed, a gentle smile on his lips as he finally, finally let the words leave his mouth, “I like you.”</p><p> </p><p>And when he saw the way Kai smiled at him, smiled as if those were the only words he’d ever wanted to hear his whole life, Taehyun felt like the sun itself was right there in front of him, right there for him to see, to touch, to hold. Right there for him to call his own. If only Icarus could see him now. How jealous he would be.</p><p> </p><p>“Taehyunie,” Kai replied, his voice wobbling, but sure, so sure, “I like you too.”</p><p> </p><p>And when Taehyun sprinted across the last of the distance between them, tackled Kai to the ground, and wrapped his arms tight around him as if he would never let go,</p><p> </p><p>Kai had already been waiting for him with arms unfolding.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Alright, so how are we going to split the new rooms?” Yeonjun asked.</p><p> </p><p>Kai hummed thoughtfully, and Taehyun drummed his fingers against the table. But before either of them could speak, Soobin did. “Hyung, Beomgyu and I are both gamers, right,” the leader said, “so why don’t we take one room, and then you can have one to yourself? So in case either or both of us ends up gaming late into the night, we won’t keep you awake. Plus, you’re the eldest, and you have the most clothes, so you deserve a little more luxury and space.”</p><p> </p><p>Yeonjun laughed at that last sentence, and out of the corner of his eye, Taehyun saw Beomgyu sit up a little straighter. “Sure,” Yeonjun said, holding out a hand for Soobin to shake, which he took, “I have no problems with that. And now that that’s settled, let’s start moving our stuff in.”</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun furrowed his eyebrows. “Wait-” he said, “So… Kai and I can share a room? That’s it? No discussion necessary?” The three hyungs looked at each other, then back at Taehyun. </p><p> </p><p>“I mean,” said Soobin, “Duh.”</p><p> </p><p>Beside Taehyun, Kai let out a surprised snort of laughter, before quickly slapping a hand over his mouth. “Please,” Beomgyu said, “Did you think we wouldn’t know you’d both ask to be roommates anyway? ‘Yooooooo no waayyy Taehyun and Kai wanna be roommates!’ Uh-huh, yeah, and in other groundbreaking news, the ocean contains water.”</p><p> </p><p>When Taehyun got out of his seat, arms lunging at his hyung across the table, the older boy yelped and jumped just out of his reach in the nick of time. The table erupted with laughter from all five of them at once, and Taehyun realised all over again that this was truly his home. Not the old dorm. Not the new dorm. Not even the life of an idol. But the five of them. </p><p> </p><p>As long as they were together, he was home.</p><p> </p><p>And when Kai quietly slipped his hand into Taehyun’s and didn’t let go, <span>he thought he might just be the luckiest person in the world.</span></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>to my secret santee: HIIIII BEA merry christmas!! ^u^<br/>i know i didn't manage to 100% follow the whole prompt you gave, but i did my best on this piece all the same so i really hope you were still able to enjoy it!! thank you for giving me the opportunity to try my hand at writing a fic like this! </p><p>to all other readers: hello!!! thank you for reading this fic, it's my longest one yet, and i hope it was enjoyable TvT<br/>any comments and kudos would always be very greatly appreciated!</p><p>lyric translation credits go to infinity13 on lyricstranslate.com and keycigi on youtube &lt;333</p></blockquote></div></div>
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